More or Less

There are times, love
When I feel I am not enough
Or perhaps too much
But never quite right

And

There are times, love
When I feel I am more than
Or perhaps less than
Myself

In equal measure
~~~~~

you bring this out in me
this sense
of being more
of being less

more than I have been in the past
in a better sense
more than the definition I've accepted
for so long
of not enough
you make me more

less than I have been in the past
in a better sense
less than the limitations I've accepted
for so long
on what I could be
you make me less
~~~~~

I can't begin to capture it, love
Lover
Beloved

Can't begin to
say
sing
paint
dance
write
express

How much more there is,
Since you came along,
And how much less

More moon
More sun
More stars
More wonder
More laughter
More fear

Less sorrow
Less hurt
Less darkness
Less silence
Less isolation
Less fear

More or less, love
Lover
Beloved
I am better off

And can only hope

I may repay the favor.

In the Rain

the night was unkind

and dreams

scattered their sharp fragments

to the far corners of my mind

and I woke to grey, chill

wet

and lingering feelings

dream-borne

so

I went out

into the rain

just out

to be in it

for a little while

in the rain

and the silence

that wasn't

silent

in the stillness

that wasn't

still

and oh, the rain fell

soft, soaking drops

like fingers tracing my lines

running along my arms

brushing my face

little tender strokes

light as feathers

kisses falling where they may

they steamed

where they landed

no match

for my internal flame

out in the rain

I felt you

again

for a little while

in the rain

Last night I woke from a dream
More real
Than the night-dark room around me
Lingering warmth
Reminded me
Where your hand rested
Phantom hand
And where you'd kissed
Phantom lips
And my own lips burned
With the memory of having tasted you
Of wanting more

Was it real?
Did we ever really touch?
Or did I dream it?

I woke to an emptiness
Not strictly physical
Returned to slumber
Where I could lose myself
In a dream more real
Than the night-dark room around me.

I Don't Go

This was rattling around my head, wouldn't let me sleep. I figured I'd plant it in the Lament and let it grow here instead of in my cerebellum.
~~~~~

I don't go where I'm not wanted.
Once upon a time, maybe
Maybe I would
Sneak in
Past the guardians at the gate
Sit in a quiet corner
Wait
Hope
Maybe this time
They'll want...
Me

I don't go where I'm not wanted
Not any more
Not today
It just isn't worth it
Was never worth it
To sit in a quiet corner
Wait
Hope
Maybe this time
They'll want...
Me

I don't go where I'm not wanted
Not even when
I'd very much like to
Not even when
I think it would be good
To sit in a quiet corner
Wait
Hope
Maybe this time
They'll want...
Me

I don't go where I'm not wanted
Sometimes...I don't go anywhere at all.

Pounce

I fear you will tire of me
or forget
or find some lovelier flower to admire
in your garden

So, eager to keep fresh in your memory
and hoping to continue
to fall beneath your gaze
I pounce

On words hardly left your lips,
I pounce, and
Playful as a kit
clamor to be noticed,
noticing you

I gobble your minutes
crave further sustenance,
refrain, only just
from begging,
pride be damned, begging
for just a little more

I fear you will tire of me,
or forget
or find some lovelier flower to admire
in your garden

And so I pounce,
to remind you
that I am here
empty as a pocket
waiting to be filled

Your Words, Sir

Your words, Sir
Thick and slow
And sweet
Flow through me
Honeyed
Heavy
I am languorous with them
Stretching upward
Reaching outward
Hands dropping gracefully
To my pillow
Tracing a path to the place
On my neck
Where I want your lips
Murmuring
Your words, Sir
Soft, gentle,
Whispers
Shivering through
To my core
Brushing so delicate
Against my heart
Shattering it all the same
Your words, Sir
Flow through me
The pleasant lassitude
Of lava burning
Through the center
All the way through the center
Your words, Sir
Leave me hungry,
Quivering
Wanting
More

Of you

And

Your words, Sir