I rolled around in my bed last night, tossed and turned and thrashed, covered and uncovered, sweat and shivered, muttered imprecations at the gods of sleep and sleeplessness.
Insomnia snuck up on me a few nights ago and clamped me in its jaws and now it's shaking me like a terrier with a rat in its teeth.
There are two things that can help me sleep when I'm like this, and I'm without both.
Sex and pot.
The former is no guarantee, but it's fun to see if it'll work. The latter does work, but it's not possible at this place in my life.
In the dark, while I am not sleeping, my mind scrabbles in its confinement, turns endless circles, hums snatches of tuneless tunes, quotes fragments from books and movies, la, la, la, la, la.
Things are falling apart here, but I can't say it's a bad thing. Uncomfortable, painful even, but life does that and I can handle it even if I don't want to.
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Followers
About Me
- Knight Angel
- The Leaden Plains, Inmost Secrets
- Most often, I am an ordinary woman living an ordinary life in an ordinary world, but sometimes...sometimes I am a blighted soul, benighted by doubt, self-recrimination, anger, bitterness, rage, resentment, and the darker human emotions. Then, I am the Knight Angel, and then I write hard, sharp, slicing words and leave them to be found by like-minded souls or the unwary. Caution: Here there be dragons, demons, and creatures of the worst sort.
The Rules
If you know or even think you know who The Knight Angel is, keep it to yourself.
If you think someone else will benefit from this place, show them the door. If you're thinking about telling someone about the Lament because you know they're mentioned here and want to stir the pot - don't. Don't be a dick.
Remember, this is a place for me to dump my worst thoughts and feelings. If you know me and want to discuss what you've read here, ask once. Respect my need not to talk about it. Respect my desire to separate myself from it. Respect my process.
No using my content to poke anyone else in the ego, or any other part of their emotional anatomy. No copying, no borrowing of content with my express permission.
If you don't like what I'm writing, quit reading. I am not going to filter or sugar-coat what I am feeling. This is my dumping ground. I don't need you to like me - I need a place to put these things so they don't fester in my mind.
Thought is NOT action. Thinking is NOT doing.
If you don't like me, remember...this is just ONE part of my being. I am human. I have dark, bleak thoughts and feelings. I can own them, can face them, can acknowledge that they don't define me. Can you do the same?
Failure to comply with these rules will result in the Lament becoming a private party, and quite probably a certain Knight Angel putting a big cosmic whammy on your ass. Fair warning - play nice or piss off.
If you think someone else will benefit from this place, show them the door. If you're thinking about telling someone about the Lament because you know they're mentioned here and want to stir the pot - don't. Don't be a dick.
Remember, this is a place for me to dump my worst thoughts and feelings. If you know me and want to discuss what you've read here, ask once. Respect my need not to talk about it. Respect my desire to separate myself from it. Respect my process.
No using my content to poke anyone else in the ego, or any other part of their emotional anatomy. No copying, no borrowing of content with my express permission.
If you don't like what I'm writing, quit reading. I am not going to filter or sugar-coat what I am feeling. This is my dumping ground. I don't need you to like me - I need a place to put these things so they don't fester in my mind.
Thought is NOT action. Thinking is NOT doing.
If you don't like me, remember...this is just ONE part of my being. I am human. I have dark, bleak thoughts and feelings. I can own them, can face them, can acknowledge that they don't define me. Can you do the same?
Failure to comply with these rules will result in the Lament becoming a private party, and quite probably a certain Knight Angel putting a big cosmic whammy on your ass. Fair warning - play nice or piss off.
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