Today I told my husband that I could no longer be his wife.
Here we hang, the pair of us, over our own deep pits, wondering what comes next.
I told him I had spent the week thinking about, peeling away, all the doubts, the anger, the blame, the self-recriminations, the despair...all of it...and was left with this: I need to be free to love whom I will...to love freely, joyfully, and fearlessly.
He is leaving, because if I cannot love him, and him alone, then...then nothing.
So here we hang, the pair of us, over our own deep pits, wondering what comes next.
I feel sick.
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Followers
About Me
- Knight Angel
- The Leaden Plains, Inmost Secrets
- Most often, I am an ordinary woman living an ordinary life in an ordinary world, but sometimes...sometimes I am a blighted soul, benighted by doubt, self-recrimination, anger, bitterness, rage, resentment, and the darker human emotions. Then, I am the Knight Angel, and then I write hard, sharp, slicing words and leave them to be found by like-minded souls or the unwary. Caution: Here there be dragons, demons, and creatures of the worst sort.
The Rules
If you know or even think you know who The Knight Angel is, keep it to yourself.
If you think someone else will benefit from this place, show them the door. If you're thinking about telling someone about the Lament because you know they're mentioned here and want to stir the pot - don't. Don't be a dick.
Remember, this is a place for me to dump my worst thoughts and feelings. If you know me and want to discuss what you've read here, ask once. Respect my need not to talk about it. Respect my desire to separate myself from it. Respect my process.
No using my content to poke anyone else in the ego, or any other part of their emotional anatomy. No copying, no borrowing of content with my express permission.
If you don't like what I'm writing, quit reading. I am not going to filter or sugar-coat what I am feeling. This is my dumping ground. I don't need you to like me - I need a place to put these things so they don't fester in my mind.
Thought is NOT action. Thinking is NOT doing.
If you don't like me, remember...this is just ONE part of my being. I am human. I have dark, bleak thoughts and feelings. I can own them, can face them, can acknowledge that they don't define me. Can you do the same?
Failure to comply with these rules will result in the Lament becoming a private party, and quite probably a certain Knight Angel putting a big cosmic whammy on your ass. Fair warning - play nice or piss off.
If you think someone else will benefit from this place, show them the door. If you're thinking about telling someone about the Lament because you know they're mentioned here and want to stir the pot - don't. Don't be a dick.
Remember, this is a place for me to dump my worst thoughts and feelings. If you know me and want to discuss what you've read here, ask once. Respect my need not to talk about it. Respect my desire to separate myself from it. Respect my process.
No using my content to poke anyone else in the ego, or any other part of their emotional anatomy. No copying, no borrowing of content with my express permission.
If you don't like what I'm writing, quit reading. I am not going to filter or sugar-coat what I am feeling. This is my dumping ground. I don't need you to like me - I need a place to put these things so they don't fester in my mind.
Thought is NOT action. Thinking is NOT doing.
If you don't like me, remember...this is just ONE part of my being. I am human. I have dark, bleak thoughts and feelings. I can own them, can face them, can acknowledge that they don't define me. Can you do the same?
Failure to comply with these rules will result in the Lament becoming a private party, and quite probably a certain Knight Angel putting a big cosmic whammy on your ass. Fair warning - play nice or piss off.
2 comments:
After darkness comes light - the sickness will pass, you will be born again (not that way) and you will live freely and fully and more beautifully than ever.
So mote it be. With love and respect for the pain that is, here's knowing it will pass.
Could I but convince him one love does not negate another, no matter which already in existence...
There is NO LIMIT to love... for I love here, there... everywhere...
And NEVER without intensity...
Would that the pirates stop trying to raid, and look at the islands alotted them...
Tujours, My Lady Flower...
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